I Survived...

In reflecting on my year and what it has meant to me, honestly, the only word that comes to mind is survival. I survived a job I was unhappy in, I survived running my car into a ditch (twice) but mostly this year I survived my own mind. I have commenced on a journey this year that I honestly never thought I’d be strong enough to take a chance on… trying to live. My biggest accomplishment this year was my honest attempt to escape the head space that has wanted me dead for years. Thankfully however my body has striven to keep moving forward and in a way that makes my life worth living.

2018, in all it’s intensity, was a good year and I truly feel like my life has just begun. 2019 holds a lot of uncertainty but, no doubt, radical changes in my life, emotionally, mentally and physically but I am more than ready to take on it’s challenges.

Bring it on!

And in the vein of retrospection, there have been more times in my life than not that I've (whether accurately or not) claimed to not have any friends but that time has come and past. And I can no longer claim that I do not have any friends or meaningful relationships in my life and I want to take a moment to thank all of you (you should know who you are). To the new and the old relationships and the one's that have only strengthened further, you've made this year a lot easier for me and so much more enjoyable than it could've been.

So here's a thanks to those who have loved, supported and followed me on this journey. Even if it means just clicking a link and reading my posts in curiosity or to educate yourself. Creating this site for my writing this year has been a saving grace and you've been a part of that. If I didn't think anyone was reading then... well... I most certainly wouldn't be wasting my time in posting this right now. I hope you all have a joyful new year!

I'd also like to take a moment to thank a very good friend of mine in particular, one who inspired me the most to keep on living and striving and whether he realizes it or not, has truthfully kept me going the most this year. In his own way, he's become an odd sort of mental health sponsor, a huge support system for me and one of my best friends and most certainly my brother. So thank you, Vaughn.

And finally, in conclusion, I wanted to include some of the best material things that I immersed myself in this year so enjoy!

Emery’s Best of 2018

Books:

“Amateur” and “Man Alive” by Thomas Page McBee

“The Men with the Pink Triangle” by Heinz Heger

"Fight Club" by Chuck Palahniuk

“Mother Night” by Kurt Vonnegut

“Howl” by Allen Ginsburg

“A Mother’s Reckoning” by Sue Klebold

“Fear” by Bob Woodward

"V for Vendetta" by Alan Moore and David Lloyd

Albums & Songs:

“Swimming” by Mac Miller

“A Brief Inquiry to Online Relationships” by The 1975

“Dirty Computer” by Janelle Monáe

“Icarus Falls” by Zayn

“Wonderful, Wonderful” by The Killers

“One More Light (Live)” by Linkin Park

“Say Hello 2 Heaven” by Temple of the Dog

“Beyond” by Leon Bridges “DNA” by Kendrick Lamar

“King’s Dead” by Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future, James Blake

“Cudi Montage” by KIDS SEE GHOSTS

“Lucky You” by Eminem (feat. Joyner Lucas)

Films:

“Annihilation”

“A Quiet Place”

“Black Panther”

“Isle of Dogs”

“6 Balloons”

“Struggle: The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski”

“Love, Simon”

Series/Specials:

“Hannah Gadsby: Nanette”

“Sharp Objects”

“Homecoming”

“The Haunting of Hill House”

“The Good Place”

“The Staircase”

“The Handmaid’s Tale”

“John Leguizamo’s Latin History for Morons”

“Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia”

I will see you in the new year! Cheers!